Lately I have been in a nostalgic mood and today I was looking through my iPod for some music to accommendate these feelings.
I came across Moneen's album "Are We Really Happy With Who We are Right Now?" which my friend Emo Ian from The Goodbye Kiss introduced me to at church camp way back in the summer of 2004. Scrolling through the tracklist, I played "Closing My Eyes Won't Help Me Leave"
At the time I first started listening to this group, that song in particular appealed to me for several reasons. Stylistically, it is very much in the same vein as early Thursday or Alexisonfire; the song is pure chaotic emotion. The conflicting guitar riffs are strummed with an intricate intensity which might cause a casual listener to mistake dissonance for carelessness. Dual vocal lines, which switch between soft crooning and coarse screams, seem to care little what the other is doing.
Looking back on this song I better understand my identifying with it. In the midst of chaos and uninhibited emotion, the vocalists, representing a single entity, strive to find some meaning in a failed relationship. All the post-modern poet has is chaos, from which he must justify his existence.
The song ends with an extended breakdown in which both vocalists bemoan, "Don't Say you're sorry, because sorry means something is wrong." Even in the midst of this relational failure, the vocalists refuse to attribute any intrinsic moral value to the relationship.
The entirety of the song's lyrics are as follows:
Closing My Eyes Won't Help Me Leave
Where's my love? It's fallen and I'm bound to it
Where's my heart? It stopped, then why am I still here?
Wrong...gone? Would you say it's too late?
Say something now. Say something's wrong. Say sorry.
Wrong...gone? Would you stay? It's your fate.
Wait this out...a promise kept ends suddenly
Close my eyes...relax, lay back and try to breathe
Decide my fate
Is it too late?
To change it all
And mend mistakes
As if I would have such thoughts
And scream so loud for all it's not
Don't say you're sorry cause sorry means something is wrong
Don't say you're sorry...don't say you're sorry now
And I've changed...those thoughts rang out...